The absurd ‘pumpkin spice’ craze is officially dead thanks to Spam

It’s a balmy 80 degrees in New York City today, but the pumpkin spice latte is here — and it’s dead on arrival.

Yes, it’s Aug. 14. Yes, sidewalks are still glistening with midsummer garbage vapors. Fall is more than a month away, but its emblematic flavor is prematurely pouring it on: Dunkin’ Donuts has released its pumpkin spice latte, along with a pumpkin-scented lip balm to mark the occasion, the company announced this week.

The ubiquity of the autumnal drink seemed to reach a fever pitch last fall — but this year, the flavor is officially getting canned.

Spam, never to be outdone, has unveiled its own demented take on everybody’s favorite orange gourd: Pumpkin Spice Spam. The canned meat product — which spawned a viral fake in 2017 — goes public for real Sept. 23 and will be available on Spam.com and Walmart.com. The Daily Meal got an advance taste of the sweet and savory specialty and reports that it’s not … the worst thing they’ve ever tasted?

But there’s something darker brewing here. With its mystery meat foray into the absurd, the end of P-spice is nigh.

Since its creation circa 2003, PSL-inspired foods have gone through all phases of a trend’s brief existence, from earnest appreciation at its Starbucks birthplace to meme territory. Now, even Martha Stewart is over it. Last year, she declared the lattes “basic.”

And in the wake of the Pumpkin Spice Spam, even the PSL’s strongest base is distancing itself from the drink. This week, the internet went to town on a photo of two women, dressed in their fall finest, clearly prepared to chug a latte, according to BuzzFeed News. One observer tweeted, “This picture left pumpkin spice residue on the inside of my screen.”

When the outlet tracked down the subjects of the photo, they were quick to distance themselves from the fall drink: “We look so basic in our blanket scarves and holding our pumpkin spice lattes,” said one of the women, Caitlin Covington.

So here we are, it’s not even September: Martha’s over it. Basics are over it. Spam is into it. Pumpkin spice lattes, we hardly knew ye.

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