MEET LITTLE CASPER, THE EU PROPAGANDA ROBOT: Sometimes the EU almost gets it right, but falls just short. EU money has been used to develop a robot that helps children with cancer through their treatment and hospital stays. Bravo! The snag? The robot’s eyes are EU flags. Little Casper is not to be confused with his cousin Kaspar, an English robot that’s also been developed thanks to the EU’s BabyRobot project. Kaspar is used to help children with autism and does not have EU flags for eyes.

WHICH … global tech firm has annoyed lobbyists in Brussels by using a recruitment algorithm to reject their online applications for a vacant position, without a human viewing their CVs or meeting them?

‘BONFIRE OF THE SANITIES’: That’s the witty title of the 2017 EU Press Revue, set for March 11. If you’ve never been, think of it like the White House Correspondents’ Dinner with less red carpet and Donald Trump. If you haven’t got a ticket, you’ll have to beg, steal or borrow one as it’s already sold out.

BONFIRE OF THE MORNING FLIGHTS: From February 22 the Brussels region will move its flight curfew time at Brussels’ main Zaventem airport, meaning no flights before 7.a.m, and big fines for any airline that breaks noise limits during the day. Another side effect: Ryanair has stopped adding flights to its Zaventem schedule in protest, and will expand from Charleroi airport instead. “Politicians do crazy things. If no solution is found, we will move some aircraft away from the Zaventem base to airports outside of Belgium,” Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary said.

AIR PASSENGER RIGHTS DEAL REACHED: A simulation exercise at the College of Europe in Bruges saw students assume the roles of transport commissioner, MEPs and journalists to find a way to get the long-delayed air passenger rights file moving under the watchful gaze of experts. First up they resolved a standoff over Gibraltar between the U.K. and Spain, and went on to deliver an acceptable definition of “night time” for flights. Playbook suggests the students offer their services to Zaventem airport.

OVERHEARD: A table of folks in Brussels’ Sainte Catherine neighborhood (EU-related expats, we reckon) musing that instead of worrying about “alternative facts” maybe we should be giving U.S. President Trump alternative names. Their suggestions included Donald Gump, Donatello Trump and Dohammed Trump.

BREXIT PUB ETIQUETTE: European Commission spokesperson Margaritis Schinas has a new strategy for explaining Britain’s bill for exiting the EU (aka the world’s most expensive divorce). “You still need to pay for your round,” Schinas told reporters, drawing an analogy with a night out in the pub.

ROMANIAN MEP FLIRTS WITH DANGER: In a Facebook post, Romanian Social Democrat MEP Sorin Moisă distanced himself from his party and supported anti-government demonstrators in Bucharest.

“There comes a moment when silence becomes guilty … We have a reached a point of unbearable tension, and therefore I will express myself, whatever the consequences,” Moisă wrote. “I support the demand of protestors.” The Romanian government caved the next day, agreeing to drop controversial justice plans that many felt were a way of letting corrupt politicians off the hook.

EUONYM OF THE WEEK: The name of the new economic adviser to European Parliament Secretary-General Klaus Welle? Stanislas de Finance.

FEUD OF THE WEEK: John Bercow vs Donald Trump. The speaker of the House of Commons was accused of overstepping the mark by saying the U.S. president would not be welcome in the British parliament. Bercow told MPs that “opposition to racism and sexism” and support for equality before the law and an independent judiciary were “hugely important considerations,” as he confirmed that he would not support any invitation for Trump to speak in parliament. Former cabinet minister John Whittingdale accused Bercow of “playing to the gallery.”

GAFFES AND LAUGHS …

Which: Middle Eastern royal flies his 747 plane to Brussels every two months for a haircut and to ship back pallets of Spa mineral water?

MEP’s assistant accused of being oppsition mole: You might remember Ileana Grigorescu as the MEP’s assistant who stood up to Viorica Dăncilă MEP after the elected representative emailed the entire European Parliament to massage the facts on Romania’s emergency decree decriminalizing corruption cases. One angry Romanian wrote to Grigorescu’s boss, British Tory Andrew Lewer, denouncing her as a
spy. Grigorescu told us she is supposedly a plant of Traian Băsescu, a former Romanian president.

All’s Welle that ends Welle? Which member of Klaus Welle’s team asked Playbook to remove a public weblink to their LinkedIn profile from a story we wrote about Welle’s new team? Memo to Parliament staff: Your LinkedIn profiles are supposed to be seen, that’s the point of them.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: French Defense Minister Jean-Yves Le Drian and Portuguese counterpart José Azeredo Lopes.

BY THE NUMBERS:

200: The number of presidential executive orders that officials in the Trump White House told POLITICO they’ve drafted. Thanks to the debacle over the immigration order, the pace of the rollout has slowed.

20 percent: The EU’s carbon emissions reduction target by 2020.

4 percent: The reduction in CO2 emissions from the EU cement industry since 2005 that the European Cement Association bragged about on Twitter last week.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Thank you, have a nice day. I will now see the president of Azerbaijan, so the most pleasant part of the day is over.” — European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker to reporters at the end of a news conference.

WHO’S UP

Martin Schulz: The former European Parliament president’s candidacy is boosting the SPD in opinion polls ahead of the German election in September.

Law-abiding Muslims: No longer banned (for now) from the United States.

WHO’S DOWN

Ted Malloch: The businessman tipped — mainly by himself — to be Trump’s ambassador to the EU is facing attacks from EU leaders and MEPs already.

Sorin Grindeanu: Romania’s prime minister was forced by huge protests to back down on a decree that would have decriminalized certain types of graft.